How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
