i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
