The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
