I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
