i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
