Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
