my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
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