Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
