On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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