He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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