I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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