That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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