are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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