i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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