How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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