nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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