Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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