You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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