i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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