just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
