He kissed a someone with a penis
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
