We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
