Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
