I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
