Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate your face
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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