Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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