shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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