On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
