Do you still have your period?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
a search helicopter?!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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