Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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