Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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