I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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