hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
