Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
