dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
