Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
