If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
