I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
