I look better un-naked...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
