this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
