shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
