tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
