she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
