I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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