just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
