now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
sex in a hospital.. check
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
