It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
