we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
