i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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