Plan B is the new Plan A
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
