I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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