just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
