She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
