Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
