Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think my moral compass just broke
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
