I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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