Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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