haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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